Today was my first day 'out there'. I'm keeping my distance from 'the visitors', so I left The Sweetness w/ her daddy and 'them' and I went to the community center. I had my ipod, my water bottle, and my lip moisturizer. I was all set. Got the headphones on and I wasn't even 1/2 around the track when an older woman approaches me. She wants to know if I'm going to jog. I totally laughed out loud. I told her I'd just had a baby 6 weeks ago, and I'll be lucky if I can walk for 15 minutes. She proceeded to inform me that on M, W, and F we walk counterclockwise and the joggers go clockwise, then on T and TH we switch direction. OY! I didn't realize there were rules to walking. So I turned around and followed her. I'm grooving right along, working up a sweat, realizing its a bit early for walking, b/c my toe still hurts, but maybe with the right sneakers I'll be ok. Today I wasn't wearing the right sneakers. So, I'm in my own little world and the next thing I know... I was lapped! By the old lady! Who by the way is a SMOKER! I totally could smell it. So here I am at least 1/2 her age, a non smoker, who in the past I would have considered to be a bit of an athlete; nowI realize it has been a while since I've been pretty active but COME ON! She is a smoker and she's OLD! Then it happened... AGAIN... and AGAIN! This old lady lapped me three times on the track! This is why people stay fat. I was humiliated. This woman was so stinking skinny that the baggy-ness of her jeans didn't even touch and here I was trying to figure out if I should drink my water before I passed out or use it to put out the fire between my thighs! I think I rubbed off 4 layers of skin there! (Thanks, Grandma... gotta love the thighs I got from you!)
But I'm determined to go back. I have given myself a goal and I really really really want to achieve it.
We are not going to discuss 'the visit'. It has been worse than anything I could have imagined.
I thought that I was going to be emotional right after I had The Sweetness about my mom not being here. I was wrong. I'm an absolute mess b/c our 'visitors' are a constant reminder of what The Sweetness has lost too.
~Til next time.
oh, don't forget to squeeze your boobs this month. It's Breast Cancer Awareness time!
9 comments:
Keep going girl. It will get easier and you will be lapping the old lady.
I can see trying to outlap the ole lady- after a natural birth- but give yourself a break you had your abs cut and prior were walking with a completely unbalanced body- =) Stay determined.. I'm trying myself here!
Sorry this week has been emotional for you- Keep your chin up for your sweetness, she may have lost much- but you my dear have so many of your mother's qualities.. that when your sweetness grows up and wants to know how your mom was- you can say, well Sweetness.. she was alot like me.
I know there's nothing 'that's the right thing to say'- but I pulled out a picture the other day- and teared. I have my moments when I really miss your mother too. Not, as comparative to you, but nonetheless- missed in my circle of the world.
(Hugs, Denise) I love you!
Sha*
just wanted to say ((((hugs))))) and just keep hanging in there!!!!
congrats on the walking! I'm sorry but I did have to LOL at the fire in your thighs comment...I so know what you mean. But keep it up. Soon you'll be walking faster than you thought and feeling great! Sorry your "visit" didn't go so hot but you've survived...that's a blessing! and ever since your post about your having to tear the toilet paper on the perforation...I do that now too and think of you each time LOL
Thanks gang for the hugs... I need them.
and Leslie... I think I'm blushing knowing that you think about me when you are on the potty!!!! :D :D
Okay... first let me tell you and EVERYONE else... those "laps" are not real laps. I mean to say that I have walked there and that lap is a very short distance around, so it isn't as if she was out there lapping you on a 1/4 mile track! (I think I got dizzy when I was there!) You are just fine. Take it easy! Be good to yourself. It won't be long before you will be running. And since you will be running in the opposite direction, you can smile real big each time you pass her! LOL!
Okay... first let me tell you and EVERYONE else... those "laps" are not real laps. I mean to say that I have walked there and that lap is a very short distance around, so it isn't as if she was out there lapping you on a 1/4 mile track! (I think I got dizzy when I was there!) You are just fine. Take it easy! Be good to yourself. It won't be long before you will be running. And since you will be running in the opposite direction, you can smile real big each time you pass her! LOL!
Keep at girlie girl, you just had a baby! :hug:
where are you???? :)
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